Once Born Of Hate
by frenchiecangal
Summary: A soldier's true identity is hidden, but as he is thrown into a new world, one he had never experienced before, the secret slowly becomes less hidden than before... New update, finally!
1. Chapter One

  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, nor do I plan to. Sorry.   
  
Notes: Extereme AU- Everyone exists on the same plane of existance, but there are differences in who they are (at least not in character... hopefully!). As the story goes on, you'll learn more details, since this **does** start smack in the middle of things.   
  
Italics mean thoughts... and enjoy!   
  
**~~~~~~~~~~~~**   
  
"You made the final cut?!" The young harem girl pushed her long purple hair back as she looked down the hall anxiously, making sure no one was looking as she let the soldier beside her into her room. As soon as she shut the door, she pushed the table next to her in front of the door, taking time to make sure that the door could not be opened.   
  
"I made it, thank god." The warrior stood proud in the room, before smirking gallantly and pulled off his helmet, letting his long, brown hair fall down his back, it's cut and style giving the man a feminine look.   
  
"How did you do it?" The man smiled at the woman, without saying a word. "Miaka!!! Tell me!"   
  
"You know not to call me Miaka!" The man snapped.   
  
"Sorry... It just slipped... But please, tell me." The woman pleaded with him, her eyes growing soft, and her lips curving as her hands intertwined, hoping her look of pity would help persuade the man.   
  
"Fine... But, honestly Kourin," the man continued as he pulled off his armor, "I'm not sure. I thought that they would have picked others, such as the men who excelled at multitasking. You know for a fact that I can't walk and hold a tray at the same time; it's a wonder I'm still in the harem." As he shoved the armor under the bed, he began to pull of his pants, and then replaced them with a long skirt. "I think it was because I beat almost everyone at fencing, and I came in first when we were racing."   
  
"You beat almost everyone?! That's amazing!" The man sighed, then tightened the skirt before continuing.   
  
"First of all, it doesn't matter. What matters is protecting the emperor." He stopped for a moment, looking pensive as he remembered his day, and what trials he went through.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You have to protect the emperor... I know this! I've heard those words so many times!"   
  
"Sorry if it gets repetitive... And do you know where my shirt is?"   
  
"I left it in the closet... Let me get it. You get out of that sweaty top!"   
  
"Alright Kourin, I will." The warrior listened, and pulled off the shirt, the only thing underneath it a huge bandage, wrapped around his entire chest, covering his ribs and heart. "But why did you have to tie the bandage so tight?!"   
  
"Today was an important day- if they saw you, you could have die-"   
  
"I always could have died! It's a risk I was willing to take!" Kourin's face fell as she heard the words. "Ko- Kourin... I'm sorry. You always know how obsessive I am when I hear people go on about how risky life is. I'm sorry."   
  
"It's ok, don't worry about it... No worries." She gave a small smile to her friend, before realizing something. "You really need to pull off that bandage! It looks ridiculous with that skirt darling!" As she laughed, her companion looked down, and joined in, agreeing with the statement. "Here, let me pull it off!" Kourin placed the shirt next top her, and began to unravel the bandage.   
  
As the bandage became looser, and the amount of skin covering the chest began to grow, the warrior's chest slowly became less flat and more pronounced. Finally, as the bandage was removed entirely, it was proved that the person in front of Kourin was not, in fact, a man, the curves proving that the warrior was a woman, just on the brink of reaching full womanhood. As she pulled on the shirt, covering her now exposed cleavage, the look gave her a more delicate and pure look than the armor, which had always been drenched in pride, had done.   
  
"Oh, Miaka..." Kourin gushed over her friend, looking her deep in her eyes. "You're so gorgeous! It's just... You look so different in that damn armor! Why do you have to go out and act like a man? I don't understand..."   
  
"You wouldn't understand... It means so much to me because of the people I love... I have to do this." Miaka finished her statement as she slid into her slippers, and walked over to her dresser, atop it a mirror and seemingly thousands of makeup items, jewelry and hair clips. "Plus," She noted as she pulled her hair into a simple knot in her head, "I want to do this. And the head of guards is always looking for willing soldiers to become one of the emperor's guards. Why not?"   
  
_Oh, Kourin... there's so many things I wish I could tell you... such as old heartaches, and him... Maybe someday, however. You're not ready to hear everything I've been meaning to say to you for so long now..._   
  
"Because the head guard wants men to protect the emperor! Not women- especially not someone who's on the emperor's list to be his wife!"   
  
"We're all on the emperor's list! Isn't that the point of the harem?" Miaka glanced into her mirror, and nodded at her reflection. "I need to get out of this room... Want to take a walk with me?"   
  
"Suuure... why not? There is nothing better that I would like to do than take a walk with my best friend..."   
  
"Kouriiiiiin..." As Miaka whined, Kourin hushed her teasing remarks, not wanting to see her friend upset.   
  
"Fine, I shall go with you on this walk of yours." Miaka's eyes widened, and she rushed towards her friend, reaching out and grabbing her in a huge hug.   
  
"If we see anyone I know, I'll point him out... especially if he's cute!"   
  
"What about that one guy you don't like..." Miaka backed away as her face took on a less than pleasant hue, her face scrunching up.   
  
_She brought him up... great. The last person I want to even think about is the main subject now..._   
  
"I haven't pointed him out yet? If I see him, I'll try to point him out. I don't want to seem weird, and scare him."   
  
"Thank you. Now I can see if he's worth the criticism you've given him before!"   
  
"Believe me," Miaka noted under her breath, "He's worth all of it and more." Turning, she walked to the door, and unlocked it, the entire time muttering about her hatred of the man Kourin had just brought up. Suddenly, after her feet left the room, she turned. "Kourin, come on! I want to walk, not stay in my room all day!"   
  
"Miaka! I was coming!"   
  
"Oh really?" Miaka said with a smug look on her face. "And you are still in the room because..."   
  
"Oh shut up!" And with that, Kourin stepped out of the room, and walked away, Miaka trailing after her.   
  
"Kourin! Why didn't you wait for me?!" Miaka whined at Kourin, who paused after hearing the question. She then turned to Miaka, with a funny look upon her face.   
  
"You know... I hate to say this, but you change so easily and quickly..."   
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"   
  
"When you are... umm... you know what I mean... you act so... different." Miaka stared at her, with a serious look in her eyes.   
  
"What do you mean by that? Is it bad?"   
  
_Is she serious? I mean... I know that I need to concentrate on the soldier, but is it that big of a difference from now?_   
  
"No, it's not bad! It's just... different." Kourin slung her arm around Miaka, giving her dearest friend a hug as she continued to explain. "When you... yeah... It's like your lost to me, like you're someone else. Then you come back, and it's like you're you again; There's no part of you that says you want to be a... I don't get it. It's a complete mind change." Kourin let out a sigh, and walked down the hall, as Miaka slowed down, thinking of what she just heard.   
  
"Kourin... I guess you're right," Miaka admitted slowly. "This has been going on for so long now... I guess I'm just used to ignoring that part of me that loves to run around with a sword in my hand, fighting for the sheer thrill of it when I'm in a dress."   
  
"Lucky..."   
  
"Kourin! What, so now you want to be in my shoes!"   
  
"No, silly, because your shoes are too small for me!" Miaka's jaw dropped after hearing the smart remark.   
  
"Not by much!"   
  
"It does get painful after a while..."   
  
"Oh shut up," Miaka commanded after crossing her arms and turning away.   
  
"What, so now we're throwing a hissy fit?"   
  
"Kourin!" Miaka raised her voice, stamping her foot. She turned, and looked deeply in Kourin's eyes, but her frown weakened considerably as time went on, and finally her fierce demeanor broke away, and she couldn't help but laugh hysterically. Kourin joined in, as Miaka's fearless giggles didn't stop.   
  
"Miaka... we need to calm down. We're getting looked at," Kourin managed to push out between hysterics.   
  
"Who cares?"   
  
"Apparently not you." By now, Miaka had stopped her giggles, and looked up at the person, whose deep voice had just commented on her eager snicker.   
  
"Kishuku!! That's not fair!" Miaka whined, standing up straight, and looking the man in the eyes, challenging his every word and action. She then put on a cocky smile, and tried to retort back at him, but was interrupted.   
  
"Ahh, fairness... We've discussed this before, haven't we Miaka?" The man edged forward, gray eyes staring down Miaka. "A woman is-"   
  
"Ok, I've heard that part before." Miaka turned sulking, avoiding Kishuku. "Wait... why are you here?"   
  
"Isn't that what a guard does?"   
  
"True..." Miaka agreed, turning as tried to keep the subject alive, but the words died on her lips when she saw the man who was in Kishuku's place only moments before, his lips open wide as his voice projected farther out than it should have. Her jaw dropped daintily as she noted the familiar tone of voice, one she it seems had always heard.   
  
_Is it... does he know anything? I swore... It is him, yelling like he always is... but has he figured anything out? Will he? And how am I going to act?!_   
  
"Genrou, chill! I keep telling you to back off, so do it!" Kishuku turned, eyes looking sheepishly at Miaka and Kourin, then opened his mouth again. "I apologize-" He gestured toward his friend, "For his rude behavior."   
  
"What _rude_ behavior?" He looked at Kourin and Miaka. "Who are you?" The man's amber eyes shined with confusion as he stared ahead, particularly at Miaka.   
  
_Why is he looking at me?_   
  
"We're just ladies of the harem, sir, nothing mo-" Kourin frantically said, before Miaka interrupted her.   
  
"Her name is Kourin, mine being Miaka," She said swiftly, trying to pull out any sort of loathing out of her voice.   
  
"Ohh! Forgot about that part! This is Genrou." Kishuku pointed out the man, who gave a one-fanged smirk at the two.   
  
"Well, I'm sorry to say, but we really must be going now, so until next time!" Miaka grabbed Kourin's arm, and waved to Kishuku before walking away. However, her other arm was no longer swinging free by her side, but was held tightly in the strong hand of Genrou. Before she could pull her hand back, he had whipped her around, looking over her   
  
_His eyes... I've never noticed how pretty they are..._   
  
"Goddamn, you look familiar."   
  
_He can't... could he?_   
  
"What do you mean by that?" Miaka asked in a low voice.   
  
"Your eyes... the shape of your face... Have we met before?" Miaka's eyes widened slightly as she saw an unfamiliar look in his eyes, one she had never seen before.   
  
"I- I have a brother." She pushed the words out quickly, panicking.   
  
"Wait, is your brother..." Trailing off, Genrou understood why she was so familiar. Miaka nodded, and lowered her eyes, avoiding contact with him.   
  
"He never told me that he had a sister... Especially one such as you..."   
  
_Does he want to say more? And what's with those looks? You've never look at me unless I snapped at you... or is the dress that I'm wearing?_   
  
"Is that good or bad?" Genrou smirked at Miaka.   
  
"Whatever you want it to be." His words, softer than a feather, made Miaka's jaw drop. He then let her hand go gently, and backed away, his eyes searching deep into hers.   
  
"What was up with him?" Kourin whispered lightly to Miaka, as she stood rooted to the ground. Finally, Miaka nodded slightly, and raised her voice.   
  
"Well... We really have to go now... sorry to leave you both so soon..." Miaka backed up a bit, holding onto Kourin's arm, waving. "Good day!" From there, she rushed away, not bothering let Kishuku or Genrou say anything.   
  
"Wait, Miaka! Slow down! You're a lady, remember? Miaka!" Kourin yelled, trying to stop the running girl. Miaka heard none of it, as her mind was currently on the flame-haired man she had just encountered.   
  
_He couldn't have... What was with those looks? I've never been looked at in that way before... have I? He looked so... different, other than his usual growl and sharp eyes... Does he..._   
  
"Miaka, wait! Who was he?" Miaka stopped suddenly, causing Kourin to run into her. However, Miaka stood rooted to the ground. "Is he that bad? You know hi, right?"   
  
"Kourin, do you remember how I said earlier I beat nearly everyone this morning?" She received a nod. "Well... he was also the same person who beat me today at most things I just missed coming in first."   
  
"That's not so bad, is it?" Miaka shook her head.   
  
"It's not horrible, but he's also hated me since day one."   
  
**~~~~~~~~~~~~**   
  



	2. Chapter Two

  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi. I'm simply borrowing the idea for this story.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"Oh, leave him alone!" Miaka turned to her friend at Kourin's harsh remark.   
  
"Leave him alone?! I hope you know that you're insane." Miaka turned away, and threw the shirt in her arms over her head.   
  
"All right then. Why won't you leave him alone?"   
  
"Easy. I won't leave him alone and I attack him every chance I get because he started it." With that said, Miaka pushed her hip out, hand on her waist, and stuck her tongue out at Kourin.   
  
"Mature. Now put your pants on." Tossed across the room, the pants flew from Kourin's hands as her mouth shut, and promptly handed in Miaka's arms, which gracefully caught the flung object.   
  
"Am I late?" Miaka asked as she jumped around the room, trying to put on her boots after the pants had been hastily thrown on.   
  
"Nope," Kourin assured her as she peeked out of the window, "I think you'll be fine."   
  
"I missed breakfast. I won't be fine."   
  
"Yes you will! I gave you an apple!" Miaka laughed.   
  
"Whatever... are they lining up yet?" Kourin peeked out of the window for a brief moment, then giggled.   
  
"They're all crowding around Genrou, laughing about something he's doing and saying..." Miaka sighed.   
  
"They always do that. I'm not surprised." Kourin smirked, and turned from the window to her friend.   
  
"Why are you so obsessed with him? We talk about him all the time, and you're always denouncing him, like he's just some thing that takes up space. Why do you do that?" A guilty look crossed Miaka's face as she tied her belt tighter, and she sighed momentarily before opening her mouth.   
  
"Does it matter?"   
  
"Miaka, dear, you're straying from the subject. If you keep avoiding it, I'm going to start assuming things." Kourin looked at Miaka, who was currently halfway under her bed.   
  
"Don't care right now; I need my helmet." She looked up, and saw the dark gray helmet within her eyesight. However, sitting up made her realize that what she needed was dangling on Kourin's hand gently, and she was twirling it on her finger.   
  
"What would you do to get this?" Kourin asked, a smirk upon her lips. Miaka pursed her lips together, and her eyes narrowed. Finally, she let a smile ruin the serene look upon her face, and Kourin's lips fell as she noticed Miaka moving toward her. Until it was too late, she moved, but Miaka had already grabbed the helmet. Silently rejoicing getting her goal, she hadn't noticed the window in front of her, and she didn't have time to stop, as her hands flew out in front of her, hoping the soften the blow upon her head. However, as soon as her hands hit the ground, she let out a lady-like shriek, and her feet crashed into the bushes below the window she had just fallen out of.   
  
"Kourin," she hissed, "Did anyone see that?"   
  
"They heard it, I think," said Kourin as she peered down. "They're looking this way."   
  
"Distract them!" Miaka whispered as she heard Genrou's booming voice called out to Kourin, seeing what the shriek was about. Miaka took advantage of Kourin's frantic excuses to crawl away, hidden in the bushes as she pulled her helmet on.   
  
_Gotta get away, gotta get away. Can't let anyone see me... I'm dead!_   
  
It wasn't until Miaka had traveled the length of the bushes that she realized someone was near her, watching her every move. She froze, in fear, wondering if she had been caught, if her secret would finally be revealed. Finally, she snuck a brief look at her followed her, and nearly raised her voice when she discovered his identity.   
  
"You!" Her voice, loud and succinct, was louder than she wished, and her hand quickly covered her mouth, eyes wide.   
  
"Watch it," she saw Kishuku mutter under his breath. "If they caught you..."   
  
"I know..." Taking a deep breath, she stood, eyes narrow. "I... heard Kourin scream, and was trying to see what she was yelling about." Voice deeper, standing proud, and eyes narrow, filled with solemn intentions, Miaka nodded, her once distinctly womanly build sudden taking upon masculine features. "Are you ok?"   
  
"Umm, yes. Thank you, sir." Kourin giggled, and Miaka took that as a good sign. Kourin was always giggling and flirting with almost any man that came across her path.   
  
"Alright then..." Miaka stepped from the bushes, and looked at Kishuku. "What were you doing there?"   
  
"Same as you... making sure no one was dead." Kishuku's eyes glared into Miaka's harshly, and she sarcastically opened her eyes wider, trying to get Kishuku off her case.   
  
"Umm, excuse me gentlemen." The two turned toward Kourin, who was leaning over the windowsill, her long sleeves falling into the green pines of the bushes below her. "Everyone is going that way," she stated quietly as she pointed at the other men who were once gathered around the window and Kourin, who were currently walking away. Kishuku swore, then jogged away, yelling for someone to wait. Miaka turned to Kourin, mouthed a few words of thanks to her, and pulled the strap on her helmet tighter as she walked away.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"What the hell?!" The unspoken rule of silence was broken as everyone turned toward the noise that filled the air. The person who exclaimed received a sharp look, and he promptly shut his mouth.   
  
"You shall do what I say, and who I say you are to do it with. Any complaints will not be heard. Now, listen up, as I will only say this once!" The man spoke loudly, allowing no one to interrupt him as he gave out what the day's assignment was to be. But, as soon as the man finished, and walked away, each man opened his mouth, prepared to complain.   
  
"Shit! I hate going down that hall!"   
  
"I don't think you realize how well he and I DON'T work together..."   
  
"I hate guarding the damn halls..."   
  
"I don't want to do this," Genrou stated as the men walked away, their complains becoming softer by the moment, "but we might as well go and do it." Miaka nodded, and turned, walking away from Genrou as she walked to the same hall she watched every day. Once at the hall, she leaned against the wall, prepared for the day to pass her by. However, she didn't count on her day going the way it did go.   
  
"Hey, why are you staring at me? Don't you have something better to do?" Miaka snapped as she noticed Genrou's eyes, fixated upon her.   
  
"Ya never mentioned that you had a sister. I woulda thought that after eight months, you would have mentioned her once."   
  
"Well... It's not like I needed to mention her..." Genrou's head nodded at Miaka's carefully drawn out words.   
  
_I hate talking like this! It's bad enough when I walk down any hall near the harem, and I have to mention myself as if I'm someone else. It feels so weird... I hate doing this..._   
  
"It's weird, though. I always though you were an only child," Genrou mused as he watched the highly adorned men- who were obviously government officials, due to their majestic outfits- stroll down the hall. Miaka took in a sharp intake of breath, which the three men missed entirely. "Out of curiosity," Genrou asked in a low voice, "Why's she here?"   
  
"Why do you want to know?" Miaka dared to take a glimpse at the man beside her as her question filled the air, but she instantly regretted looking into his eyes. Genrou seemed to notice the look of shock upon her face, because he quickly turned, and walked away, throwing an arm over his shoulder, as if saying to Miaka to forget about it.   
  
"Screw it, doesn't matter," Genrou muttered as he walked away. Miaka stared at him for a moment before opening her mouth again.   
  
_Where is he going? I think I get him to say something, and he walks away!_   
  
"Then why did you make it such a big deal before?" Genrou paused for a moment, then flung himself around after Miaka's comment, eyes filled with vexation.   
  
"Why're _you_ making such a big deal out of it?" Miaka stepped back a moment, not expecting Genrou to avoid the subject she had pressed against him so eagerly. She also hadn't expected him to continue with his uproar. "What are you, some overprotective brother, who gives a damn about everything that is going on in his sister's life? Goddamn..."   
  
"Ok, so I admit it: I am concerned, if you will, about her. I'm just wondering why the hell you're talking about her!" Miaka fired back, staring Genrou straight in the eye. Genrou reciprocated by knitting his eyebrows together, then turned, and walked down the hall, ending the arguement. Miaka stared at his back for a moment before turning the other direction, and stalked off, going to the other end of the hall.   
  
_Niiiiiiiiiiice going Miaka. You've managed to get him really mad. Now you will never know what he was talking about. But why did he make such a big deal out of everything... I don't get it._   
  
~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"Umm, excuse me, sir?" Miaka turned, and saw Kourin standing behind her, her flirtatious smile covered by a pink fan, waving in the air. "Could you do me a favor and help me with something?" Miaka agreed, and followed Kourin to her room, trying to avoid the amorous giggles of the woman they passed along the way.   
  
"So, how was it today?" Kourin asked as the door shut. Miaka sighed, and flopped onto the bed, her gray armor clashing against the pink-colored room.   
  
"I made him mad." Kourin stared at her with a mixed expression on her face.   
  
"I thought you hated him, and you're talking about him with this... regretful... expression in your voice. Why are you so concerned with him? Every other time you've managed to piss him off, you couldn't care less!"   
  
"He looked hurt Kourin. You don't know him, but if his eyes are twisted up, showing any other emotion besides that cocky attitude he's got, something's up." As the masculine armor was slowly replaced by the bright dress, Miaka picked her words slowly, taking her time to try to describe the amount of angst captured in her rival's eyes.   
  
"What's up with that look on your face?"   
  
"What look?" Miaka yelled back automatically, seeing the look of amusement on Kourin's face. "If anything, I didn't mean to hurt his feelings that bad!" Her face softened, and her eyes took on a poignant look. "You know me well enough to know that I didn't mean to take things that far."   
  
"How far is far?"   
  
"He got mad, as you know, and stomped down the hall after I tried to find something out about 'Miaka'," she said fluidly, not taking a moment to stop.   
  
"Wow... normally it's him pushing your buttons. This time, you've managed to push his."   
  
"It was an accident!" Miaka insisted as she tied her hair up, dainty fingers looping a lock of hair around an intricate metal comb.   
  
"And you're making a big deal out of it!" Kourin pointed out.   
  
"I am not!" Miaka said in a huff.   
  
"I very much doubt that, but I'll stop insisting that you're making this seem like it's the worst you can do, when really worst can be done."   
  
"Like what?" Kourin just grinned at Miaka, who's jaw dropped. "Kourin!"   
  
"I didn't say- or do- anything!"   
  
"I find that hard to believe." Miaka said as she turned.   
  
"Whatever you say..." Kourin finished as a light knock filled the emptiness of the room. Kourin stood, then crossed the room, decreasing the distance between her and the door. She gave the shy maid who knocked a kind smile and her full attention as she listened to what she said, then closed the door as soon as she had walked away.   
  
"Apparently, they want me to do something big. Sorry to cut this conversation so short," Kourin said with an apologetic smile on her face.   
  
"Never mind, you just go do what you have to," Miaka said. Kourin nodded, the promptly left the room. Miaka stayed for a moment, then rid the armor out of eye sight, its dull metal shocking compared to the brightly colored room. After one more look around the room, she sighed, then left, walking in circles, not caring for where she went.   
  
_I don't get it. Why am I so concerned? I mean, yeah, I do care about people, but I've never given a second thought to him and what he says or does. Why is this bothering me so much? But, actually, I've never seen him that mad before..._   
  
Turning, Miaka realized that she had wandered down her favorite hall. One of the reasons she loved to stroll down the hall was that no one ever walked down the hall- it was always barren, always silent, letting her walk and think what she pleased. She also loved it's off-white walls, and ivory pillars, their light coloring giving her the peace she needed in her stressful world of exchanging lives. Miaka paused for a moment, then lifted a hand, letting her fingers gently graze a rough, vine-covered pillar. She smiled, then leaned against it, sighing.   
  
"I really messed up this time," she said regretfully. Miaka leaned back against the pillar, letting it support her, all the while wondering how to fix whatever she managed to damage while fighting Genrou.   
  
Wrapped up in her thoughts, Miaka didn't notice the two people walking toward her until she heard the breathy, bluffing laugh of a familiar, feminine voice. Her eyes opened wide, and she hastily looked around, all the while trying to keep silent. She realized that they were on the other side of the pillar, and she could not be seen by them- yet. Taking that into consideration, she snuck a peek at the two carefully, not wanting to be seen.   
  
_Oh my god... It can't be. How is it... I don't get it._   
  
Panicking, Miaka realized that her shock lost her a few precious moments, and soon, if she refused to move, her current fear would be turned into reality. Taking a deep breath, she waited for the two to walk past the pillar, where their line of vision could not see her move around the pillar. Gathering her skirts in one hand, she watched the two intently, wanting to two to hurry. Finally, when she could only see the back of the woman's skirt, it's bright purple fabric trailing on the floor, she took a chance and moved behind the pillar, successfully avoiding being caught in their gaze. A sigh of relief crossed her lips, and took one last look at the two as they walked away.   
  
_I don't get it... What's going on here? She's always been like that, always flirting and asking for more than what she needs... But him? I never expected him to be near her... He doesn't seem the type to even tolerate a girl like her... What does he see in her?_   
  
Lost in her thoughts, Miaka never noticed the man walking away looking back and missing her, nor the tiny balls of moisture falling down her face and landing on the ground in front of her.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  



	3. Chapter Three

  
  
Disclaimer: Do not own the anime Fushigi Yuugi. All original characters and plot belong to me.   
  
_Author notes: AHHH!!! I'm so sorry for such a late update! I've been trying to get through the beginning of this school year, and trying to get through the now over cross-country season whilst I nearly begged for a weekend off to sleep! However, when the running slowed down, I got my weekend and inspiration came with it. So enjoy!_   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
_This is it. I'm getting out of bed, and leaving it behind. I've had enough of this... I want to sleep, but I can't. Might as well just forget about it, and stay up._   
  
Miaka sat up and looked around the glowing room, tainted by the morning sun. She smiled sadly at her bed, the sheets and pillows a mess around her body, drowning her legs. A sigh fell from her lips, and she stood, walking over to the window, stumbling over her feet a bit as she walked. Stopping, she knelt over the windowsill, and watched as the rose-tinged sky slowly revealed and illuminated the landscape before Miaka. She smiled, silently adoring the beauty before her, not noticing anything other than the still glory before her.   
  
_It's so peaceful and serene... Why can't my life be like this every day? I love who I am, but I just wish things wouldn't be so stressful everyday. I wish things could start to be as predictable as the sun rising and setting. I hate not knowing what to expect, ever since..._   
  
"So, there is other life around here besides me?" Miaka jumped up, and gasped, not realizing that someone was standing in front of her. The man smirked, then gave a one fanged smile. "Did I scare you?"   
  
"Maybe a bit..." Miaka admitted unwillingly. Genrou raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Good to know..."   
  
"Why?" Miaka stared at him, clueless about his last statement.   
  
"No good reason," was his answer. He then turned, leaning against the wall, and stared ahead, not looking at Miaka. She sighed, then leaned against the window, unwilling to let Genrou ruin what she originally wanted to do alone. And, without a word spoken, the two stood next to each other, staring at the rising sun, until Genrou turned to Miaka. When Miaka had realized his eyes were on her, she jumped.   
  
"What?!" Genrou smiled at her.   
  
"You're awfully quiet..."   
  
"It's morning." Genrou shook his head at her.   
  
"Not an excuse. I don't think you want to know how early I have to wake up." Miaka's face scrunched up.   
  
"I hate waking up early." Genrou stared at her for a moment before laughing.   
  
"Now I know another reason you're in the harem!" Miaka's jaw dropped as she heard that statement.   
  
"What!?"   
  
"You're a girl, through and through. Makes sense to me..." Miaka stood rooted to the ground, looking at Genrou with a shocked look upon her face.   
  
"Excuse me, but there are other reason besides the fact that 'I get to sleep in' every morning. So don't assume anything!" Her face grew darker as the words came fluidly out of her mouth, and every word she spoke made her heart pound more and more, much to her surprise.   
  
_I'm over this... It's over. I can talk about this, and it won't mean a thing... I won't cry either. I will never cry again about this... It's over. Never will it haunt me again._   
  
Genrou nodded at her vicious words flung at him, and turned his head as he offered a low apology. Miaka stared at him, and her eyes filled with tears suddenly as she remembered everything she wanted to forget. Blinking back the tears, she focused only on his red hair, not the memories he had helped to recall from his meek apology. She sniffled, wanting to forget it all, and just fall asleep into a usual dreamless sleep, but as soon as she tried to walk away, Genrou was behind her, holding her back.   
  
"Shit... Don't cry. Never meant to hurt ya at all... I just didn't think." His thumb, so masculine compared to the feminine shape of her jaw, lightly brushed the tears away that gathered at the corners of her eyes. As her eyesight cleared, the first thing she noticed was his gentle smile.   
  
"Tha... Thank you."   
  
"Nah, don't bother. I started it." She gave him a gentle smile, all the while wondering what was going on with what started out to be such a clear relationship that the two had.   
  
_He has such a soft side... I never knew that. Of course, if anyone found out..._   
  
"And what are you giggling about?" Miaka threw her head back and burst into laughter, letting go of her emotion once she heard his tone of voice, full of confusion. Once she heard his sigh, revealing he was ready to stop questioning why she was laughing, she laughed harder, only causing more confusion to Genrou. Only when he stopped, accepting the fact that she was unexpectedly mocking him, was she able to calm down.   
  
"I'm sorry... I just... Sorry!" She flashed him a quick smile before letting her giggles consume her.   
  
"Suuuuuure..." She giggled, then stopped.   
  
"Seriously, I'm sorry."   
  
"Don't want your pity." Miaka rolled her eyes at Genrou.   
  
"Fine. Stay like that." Genrou turned to her, nodded, then turned around, looking at the fully risen sun. Miaka smiled as she watched him as he leaned against the wall stiffly, refusing to turn to look at her as she visibly admired him.   
  
"Genrou!" The two jumped, and Miaka leaned over her windowsill to see the man who cried out for her companion. She immediately recognized the man, someone she regularly saw, but never spoke to. She watched as he spoke silently, but quickly with Genrou, who's face showed no emotion about what was so urgent. Miaka watched as the man walked away, and noticed the stark look upon Genrou's face.   
  
"Is it bad?"   
  
"Bad enough for anyone awake to be rounded up this early..." Genrou stared ahead, refusing to meet Miaka's eyes. He walked forward a few feet, then turned back to Miaka, looking as he needed to say something. However, the silence filled moments after did nothing but create an awkward atmosphere.   
  
"Can I do anything?"   
  
"Go back to bed, and forget what just happened. Don't worry about it." With that said, he walked away, leaving behind a bewildered Miaka. She leaned over the window, and watched as Genrou walked away with the man, the two not talking as they ran further away from her.   
  
_I thought I heard... But it couldn't be, could it? It's ok... Right?_   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"Aren't you quiet..." Miaka looked quickly at Ai as the girl across from her smiled at her.   
  
"Ohh..."   
  
"Do you really need to be so silent?" Miaka opened her mouth, prepared to say something, but she was beaten to it.   
  
"And do you have to be so nosy!"   
  
"Kourin, sweetie, I doubt that I'm being nosy. After all... I've known Miaka now for how long? We're just like sisters!" Ai drawled with a sickeningly sweet voice, her words dripping like acid from her tongue.   
  
"Oh, shut up."   
  
"Kourin, let Miaka say what she needs to! You can't speak for her all her life..." Ai said, her eyes flashing. Miaka sighed, then stood slowly, letting her presence be known.   
  
"Kourin..." She let the word out slowly, hoping that her friend would catch the tone of voice, which she did. She turned to Ai next, after realizing Kourin understood what she didn't want to say, and smiled. "Thank you for your company, however, I need to take a walk. Good day!" She then turned away from the two and walked to the door slowly, not allowing anyone to get under her skin, especially now.   
  
_Just when I wanted a day off... Now I get this. Apparently, I must have done something wrong; if this is the way life is going for me now._   
  
"Hey." Miaka didn't look up.   
  
"Hey. Did you hear abou-" Her mouth was quickly covered, and her eyes grew huge at the sudden movement.   
  
"You're not supposed to know anything. Even I'm not supposed to know what's going on." Miaka turned to Kishuku at this comment.   
  
"But you do. You know much more than you should."   
  
"And I regret it. I wish I knew nothing. And how do you know anything about this?" Miaka's cheeks began to glow a rosy pink, and she turned away.   
  
"I... I overheard a few men from earlier." Kishuku sighed.   
  
"Until I get this straightened out between me and him, I want you to stay as you are. You are not to change. Got it?" Miaka looked into his eyes, a fearful look on her eyes.   
  
"It's that bad?"   
  
"You remember how it all ended, right?" Miaka nodded, and leaned against the wall.   
  
"I never want to go through that again."   
  
"Then why? Why do you insist on going through the same charade every day?" Miaka gave him a small smile.   
  
"Because I have to." Before he opened his mouth again, Miaka quickly placed a sole finger over Kishuku's lips. "And now, I shall obey your instructions. Could you just make sure that 'I' don't get into any trouble?" Kishuku smiled at Miaka's retreating back.   
  
"I think you can do that. Just go see the doctor. He's taken care of you before, remember?" Miaka turned to Kishuku one last time, and gave him a smile.   
  
"Yes... I think it's time to pay him a visit again." Kishuku waved her away.   
  
"Tell him I said hi." Miaka turned to him one last time.   
  
"I won't forget!" She called back.   
  
"Now, where have I heard those words before..." Miaka giggled as she ran away, remembering why the words came out.   
  
_I wasn't that great of a girl when I was younger... Always running around, causing a mess, coming home muddy. It's no wonder I am the way I am today... But why is everything coming back now?_   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"Well! It's nice to see you again." Miaka looked up and smiled at the gentle doctor.   
  
"It has been a long time, hasn't it?"   
  
"It's a good thing that it's been too long." He paused, pushing his shaggy hair out of his eyes, then motioned to a chair. "I doubt you'll take a long time, but if you want, you can sit." Miaka smiled.   
  
"I won't take long, I need to get back. But, could you do me a favor and help me out again?" The doctor paused for a moment.   
  
"Is it urgent?" He asked as he sat down slowly, his eyes focused on Miaka.   
  
"Probably- I don't know why, but Kishuku's awfully worried, and I don't want anything to happen to me. You do know what will happen if they find out, and I think Kishuku's worried that the ultimate will happen to me if I keep going with..." She trailed off, not wanting to hurt her chances of safety.   
  
"I could help you out... How long does Kishuku want you hidden?"   
  
"Until he says it's ok... I'm not sure when. The only problem is that the issue I think is at hand is that the problem has been around forever. You remember me telling you when we first met, right? Well... All I can say is that the problem is back." The doctor sighed.   
  
"I'll help Kishuku take care of everything. Stay away from him Miaka... Remember why you left?" She nodded, shutting her eyes tightly.   
  
"I remember, unfortunatly," she said in a sad voice. "I can't go through that again... Never again." The doctor nodded, his dark hair falling into his narrow eyes again. He rose, and moved towards Miaka.   
  
"Don't worry about anything. For all people know, you're in here, lying on a bed this close from death." Miaka gave him a small, almost scared smile, her eyes blinking frequently.   
  
"Thank you," she said before reaching out, giving the doctor a gentle hug. He leaned down, and gave her a small hug. She pulled away after a moment, and smiled up at him as he reached his full height.   
  
"You know you can leave now, right? I've got no reason to keep you here, and I can tell you're already gone."   
  
"Alright... Thank you for everything." She turned and waved at him, and left, shutting the door quietly as the doctor watched her intently.   
  
"Such a gentle girl... I hope that she turns out ok in the end." He then turned away, his thoughts occupied by something else.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"So, now you're stuck with me for the next few weeks?"   
  
"Hopefully not... You know me though. But I do need to stay close for a while... I hope Kishuku takes care of everything," Miaka said to Kourin. Kourin sighed, and put down her brush with one hand as she twisted Miaka's hair up with the other.   
  
"Sweetie, as much as I love you, you really need to listen this time. If anything happens..."   
  
"That's why everyone is so worried!" Miaka exclaimed as she turned, letting her hair fall down her back. Kourin sighed as she watched her masterpiece fall apart, but faced Miaka nonetheless. "I understand why they're worried, but I want to do what I want to do."   
  
"And what is it that you want to do?" Miaka stopped for a moment.   
  
"... I don't know," she said meekly. Kourin sighed again.   
  
"Miaka..."   
  
"I hate the fact that he's around her. I thought that it was all over... And now look where I am. Back at the beginning. It was once the greatest thing to be near him, and now it scares me to death. And I hate that feeling. I hate it with such a passion." Miaka's fists were clenched in a ball as she spoke slowly, her words filled with the fear she felt. Kourin's hands reached for her friend, prepared to comfort her, when a strong knock on the door interrupted everything.   
  
"What... the hell?" Miaka giggled.   
  
"Language, sweetie!" Kourin sighed as she climbed off the bed, refusing to listen to Miaka as she walked across her room. She flung the door open when she reached the other side of the room, and promptly turned, a scowl upon her face, when the person behind the door was revealed.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Kourin... I'm sure that is no way to greet someone- especially when they come to see you!" Ai said as she drifted into the room. Kourin rolled her eyes as the girl spoke, but made no move to remove the girl from her room. Miaka watched as Ai carefully inspected the room, her eyes running around the room, making careful note of everything. When her eyes landed upon Miaka, both Kourin and Miaka noticed the quick look of disgust upon her face before she hid it with a wide smile. "Why, Miaka! I was looking for you earlier..."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Because I needed to ask you about something... Oh, but it doesn't matter now! I can't even remember what the silly question is... Although I am sure that I could recall it in a few moments..."   
  
"Can you recall why you're in here?" Kourin asked, her voice desperately trying to sound sweet.   
  
"I actually needed to borrow this!" Ai said as she held up what she needed. Kourin nodded tersely at her, then bluntly pointed at the door.   
  
"Oh, don't be silly! I want both you and Miaka to come to my room! Almost all the girls are in there, and it'll be a blast to have you both there too!"   
  
"... Almost all the girls?" Kourin asked. Ai visibly chose not to listen to her, and her eyes were on Miaka, waiting for her answer, which Ai knew Miaka would say yes to.   
  
"I guess so..." Miaka said. Ai's eyes widened, and she shrieked as she grabbed Miaka, pulled her off the bed, and ran out the door, the girls hair both flying behind them. Kourin followed them laughing as she watched Miaka's almost scared face.   
  
As soon as Ai reached her room, Miaka still right behind her, she let go of her, and walked in, letting her energy fill the room. The other girls in the room smiled, and Miaka nervously gave the others a smile. Kourin walked in soon, and led Miaka to where all the other girls were sitting as an obviously fake smile never left her face.   
  
"Remind me again why we did this," Kourin asked through clenched teeth when she and Miaka sat down.   
  
"Because I'm too nice to say no," Miaka said in a low voice.   
  
"... I need to teach you how to be nastier." Miaka giggled, and watched as the girls around her and Kourin-with a skilled ease- primped one another, all the while gossiping about someone who wasn't in the room with harsher words than needed. Kourin's nose wrinkled as she smoothed out Miaka's hair, prepared to try putting it up again as Miaka dazed off, not even bothering to listen to anything she heard.   
  
"So, out of curiosity," asked a girl Miaka barely knew, "Who here thinks that a great number of the soldiers that guard these halls are hot?" Miaka and Kourin both jumped out of their worlds, and listened to the other girls, curious to see what they were saying.   
  
"I like-" started one girl Miaka was on a friendly basis with, but was swiftly interrupted by a girl that Kourin had frequently argued with.   
  
"We all know that you like that guy with the long brown hair! It doesn't need to be said!" The girl stared at the other, more violent girl before shrugging her shoulders, and continuing to brush her friend's hair.   
  
"And who do you like?" Asked a girl Miaka was almost positive was named Kaiyo. "Come now, Sachi! You have to tell!"   
  
"If you really must know... The guy who's always really quiet. You know... the one Genrou hates. I think he's adorable." Miaka's face turned bright red, and Kourin giggled.   
  
"Does anyone know his name? I'd love to find out what his name is..." said another girl.   
  
"I... I have no clue. I've never bothered to ask him."   
  
"We'll just have to ask him next time we see him," Sachi said. Miaka and Kourin giggled.   
  
_It'll be a while before you see him again..._   
  
"Well, of course you all know who I like..." Ai said, letting her voice fill the room's presence. "And you all do know that he is mine, and you are not allowed to even touch him, correct?" The girls all nodded, and smiled at each other.   
  
"Why would we want what is truly yours, Ai?" asked one of Ai's closest friends, whose name Miaka couldn't think of.   
  
"Besides, why would we want to touch him?" Asked another girl, named Nami.   
  
"Because that makes the chase so much more fun!" Ai said, her voice bursting with energy. "I know for a fact that Genrou is tied around my finger, but even if you try to take him away from me... You won't have him!"   
  
"I don't know Ai... You do know that his attention has been directed at someone else... correct?" Ai laughed.   
  
"Oh, he won't be hers, I can guarantee it! I just need to... slut things up a bit." She laughed as the other girls in the room glanced around, letting out a tiny laugh. Then Ai stopped, and stared directly at Miaka.   
  
"What?" Miaka asked quietly, not expecting the room to stare at her.   
  
"Do you, or do you not like Genrou?"   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  



	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I do not, nor do I plan to, own the anime Fushigi Yuugi. Rights to the show applies to whoever owns it. I'm just borrowing it for a moment.   
  
_Author's notes: I apologize for the lack up updates in the past 4 or so months. I jumped from one play to another, as teachers decided to buckle down on homework. I also lost sight of the story, and when Christmas came, I got into Kingom Hearts. BUT I did finish the chapter, and I do intend to finish this story as soon as I can- the end is in sight. So, thanks for waiting, and enjoy!_   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
"Do I?... What are you talking about?"   
  
"Well, Miaka, it seems almost obvious that Genrou does like you. He's always watching you, and I was just wondering if those stars in your eyes mean anything. Because, after all," Ai said while flipping her hair over her shoulders, "The man is- and will always be- mine." Miaka stared at Ai for a moment, shocked at the open and carefree attitude the other girl had. Before Miaka opened her mouth to clear anything up between her and Ai, Kourin's mouth had already opened.   
  
"What the hell are you talking about? 'Oh, yes, Genrou's mine! You can't have him!' That's a bunch of bulllllllll-shit! What, are you the one in charge of who decides who ends with who?" Miaka tried to calm Kourin down, but Kourin kept on scream at Ai, who's eyes slowly grew more enraged. "Sure, maybe I'm biased or something, but you still don't have to be a bitch about it!"   
  
"Oh, so now I'm the bitch?! What the-" Ai finally snapped, and her voice finally became heard.   
  
"No, you are not the bitch now. You've always been!" Kourin shot back. Ai's eyes shot open, and her mouth flew open moments later, and the two began to argue loudly. Everyone in the room stared at the two with interest, knowing that a battle between Kourin and Ai was always legendary.   
  
"Ladies! What is going on in here?!" The door flew open, and two men Miaka knew well through her training entered the room. Kourin and Ai stopped, and stared at the two men in shock.   
  
"Nothing has been going on, my good sirs. The most that has happened this evening was a verbal disagreement, and nothing more," Sachi said. She smiled, her lips curving up. Her eyes narrow as she strolled over to the two men, hips turning in a sensual dance. "What do you think happened?" Miaka watched as the two men briefly exchanged a glance, and one answered.   
  
"A verbal disagreement my ass! Two of you in here were screaming at each other over something, and it nearly scared-"   
  
"Does that really matter?" Sachi drawled. Miaka heard Kourin sigh behind her, and she heard the rustle of Kourin's dress as she stood up.   
  
"Well, ladies, as much as I hate to say this, but I forgot that Miaka and I were asked by Yami-san to go get something. If you all would excuse us..." She marched out of the room after she spoke, and Miaka slowly stood.   
  
"Thank you for letting us spent time with you all."   
  
"Don't worry, Miaka. We simply _must_ spend more time together in the future. In the past year that we've been here, I've hardly gotten to know you! Such a shame..." Miaka nodded at Ai's curt comment, and walked away, walking fast when she reached hall, wanting to catch up to Kourin.   
  
Once she had caught up, Kourin turned to her, her eyes filled with rage. "Can you believe her?"   
  
"Kourin, you really did overreact in there. You didn't need to start fighting like that."   
  
"Oh please! It's the first time it got that bad!" Miaka turned to Kourin, and stared for a moment.   
  
"And what do you mean by, 'that bad'? It doesn't make any sense! Besides, I know you don't like Ai that much." Miaka snuck a glance down the hall, and after noticing Ai visibly flirting with the guards from earlier, she continued. "I'm not fond of her either, but you can't keep fighting with her. It's going to turn nasty- really nasty- one day." Kourin sighed.   
  
"Fine, I'll stop. I know you hate it. Besides..." Kourin strolled up to Miaka, a sly grin upon her face. "What good is life if we can't have a little fun?" Miaka sighed, and walked away from her, Kourin laughing hysterically and yelling for Miaka to wait for her. Shaking her head, Miaka ignored Kourin's request, and turned to walk down a different hall to go to her own room.   
  
However, the body Miaka bumped into while turning down the hall made it a bit more difficult.   
  
"Sorry!" Miaka cried out, her waist bend, apologizing. She heard a deep, amused chuckle, and looked up, seeing the one face she thought she had rid herself of. Biting her lip, she stood up straight, preparing for what lied next.   
  
"Now, what a surprise... Thought I'd never have seen you here." Miaka gave him a small smile in return.   
  
"Things can happen for the strangest reasons." He nodded. "What are you doing here?"   
  
"I joined the harem a month or so after you left... Some guy came to our home, and said he's appreciate it if I joined. I kind of got forced into it... But it's nice. My family is safe, I know that. I like the people here, and I'm guaranteed food and a bed." Miaka slowed down a bit, thinking of everything she had gained in a day, just by joining the harem.   
  
"It's everything that we didn't have back in the day... Am I right?" The man moved closer to Miaka, his voice growing lower. Her face scrunched up a bit, and she backed away.   
  
"We're not that old that you should be saying, 'back in the day,' right?" Her eyes fell to the ground, and she backed away even more. The man in front of her smiled, and strolled closer to her.   
  
"Very true... Very. You've always been the voice of reason whenever we got into trouble... _No Mother, it wasn't our fault! Kishuku wanted to see what had happened, and when we found him, he had already cut his arms and ripped his clothes!_" Miaka looked at the man, slightly amused, as he mimicked herself as the tender age of seven. "Never mind the fact that we had been there when he ended up ripping his clothes..." The man's voice grew lower and nostalgic as his drifted into his and Miaka's childhood. Miaka moved closer to her old friend, feeling sympathetic for him, and laided a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"We've grown older, haven't we?" The man looked as if he were going to open his mouth, but he glanced away from Miaka for a moment, and slowly backed away.   
  
"Miaka, darling, I think it's time to go back to bed now. We're getting looks from the guards around here." Miaka jumped when she heard Kourin's voice. She hadn't noticed Kourin walking over to her, and was shocked to discover how close she had gotten.   
  
"That's... I think that's a good idea. Good night," She said, while nodding to the man near her. Waving a hand, he walked away before Miaka dug up the courage to pick her feet up, and she remained still, watching him walk away from her.   
  
"Miaka," Kourin said while leaning into the girl. "Who was that man?" Miaka looked at Kourin, her eyes full of nostalgia.   
  
"I... I did tell you, a while ago, of my life growing up, right?" When she received a nod, she pressed on with her story. "Well, remember how I told you about how I used to run around with Kishuku an-"   
  
"Was that him? It couldn't have been! You said-"   
  
"Never mind what I said!" Miaka glanced around, curious to see how loud her voice had become. "Let's go back to our rooms," she said in a lower voice. "I can explain more there."   
  
"But do you know why he's here? I thought you told me that he went to-"   
  
"I don't know why he's back. Kishuku told me, before I came here, that I might as well stay, since it's the last place people would expect me to be." Kourin nodded, understanding Miaka's firm dislike of the rituals the harem daily placed upon the women. "He also told me that I need to be careful, because of everything."   
  
"You never told me how it ended." Miaka stopped, midstep, and stared at Kourin as she turned to Miaka.   
  
"Because I don't want to remember. If everyone had wanted me to remember, I would still be home."   
  
"And... Who is this everyone?"   
  
"Kourin, shut up." Kourin giggled, and turned to Miaka, who was currently walking slowly. Looking at her carefully, Kourin sighed.   
  
"All right, so you won't tell me what happened. I can deal with that. But, you have to promise me one thing, that you'll tell me someday." Sighing, Miaka agreed to Kourin's request, wishing it would be a long time before she told her friend.   
  
"Ladies! It's time to return to your rooms!" Miaka sighed again, knowing the voice she heard very well.   
  
"We shall return to our rooms now, sir!" Kourin called out to the man. Before she began to walk to her room, she turned to Miaka. "You sigh too much. I think we need to stop this." Miaka stifled a giggle.   
  
"It's not going to work. Whenever we try to stop someone from doing something, you know it doesn't work. You know that slapping someone isn't going to get them to stop just as much as I do."   
  
"But I can try!" Kourin cried out as she dashed away, her hair flying behind her. Miaka blinked as she watched her friend fly into her room, feeling indifferent about her statement.   
  
"I just hope she doesn't slap me every time I sigh... It's going to get old soon," Miaka murmured under her breath as she stepped closer to her room. When she reached the room, she fell onto the bed, glad to be comfortable. She sat up, pulling her hair out of the knot Kourin had tied it into earlier, and shook her head, hair flying all around her. Draping herself over the side of the bed, she grabbed her nightgown with one finger, and flung in onto the bed, keeping it within reach of her hands. After quickly changing, she pulled herself into reach of her pillow, and wrapped her arms around it. She tried to lure herself into dreaming, but she didn't get very far.   
  
"Great..." She groaned, her face falling into the center of the pillow. "Kishuku's going to strangle me... " Another groan fell from her mouth, and she looked up at her wall, then giggled. "Not matter what I say, he's not going to believe me. I wish he wouldn't be so stubborn..." Another giggle escaped from her. "But I guess, no matter what, he's always going to be that way, isn't he? People are too stubborn for their own good..." As Miaka giggled, she looked over at her closed window, and smiled. She sat up, and walked to the window, and opened it. Sighing, she sat upon the window frame, and leaned against the wall.   
  
_Another day, another day. So much has happened today. I guess that it was bound to happen. Well, I guess the most I can do is hope for the best. Since I can't count on anything good to happen with everyone here, I might as well make the best of it. Maybe, if I do that, I can figure everything out, and then life will be perfect... If life would permit me to be happy._   
  
As Miaka drifted off at the windowsill, she didn't notice that, in the shadows of the trees near her room, two men stood, talking silently under their breath. As time passed, the two slowly made their way over to Miaka's window, carefully and silently walking, trying to avoid awaking her. Finally, one man placed a note between her hands, and signaled to the other man, before he walked away. Before walking away, the other man called out to his partner.   
  
"Are you sure we needed to do this?" The man stopped walking, and turned around.   
  
"We can't tell her everything, as much as I want to. But she knows something is going on, and I can't help but feel bad for her, when she's this confused. We might as well let her know something, otherwise she's going to go insane." The other man, by this time, had caught up, and was facing his partner.   
  
"She isn't going to like this, only knowing part of the truth."   
  
"She will know soon enough how this will end. I can only hope that she won't be caught... Before anything happens seriously." When the words escaped his mouth, they lingered in the air as the two men contemplated a possibly future. Their eyes locked onto each other, and for a moment, firm understanding passed through each other. The moment was lost when they, in unison, turned, and walked in different directions, their task complete. Neither man looked back at Miaka, who still dozed quietly.   
  
It wasn't until the wind began to blow that Miaka had woken up, and she quickly shut the windows, taking no notice of the note that was wedged between her hands, which fluttered to the ground when she jumped up from the cold touch of wind. Miaka, ignoring the stark white paper on the ground, walked to the desk, and lit the candle quickly, allowing light to stream through the room. Taking the candle to her bed, she sat down upon the sheets, and put the candle on the table next to her. As she lifted her head when the candle met the wood surface of the table, Miaka finally noticed the note. Walking slowly to the paper, she picked it up with hesitant fingers, as if the paper were made of acid, ready to burn her skin by its touch. She stared at the paper for a moment, before opening it to read. Her eyes widened for a moment, and she gasped when she realized the true meaning of the note.   
  
"I can't do this any long... It needs to come out." As the words were spoken, she dropped the note, and walked to her bed, and picked up the candle. She grabbed a robe, and walked to her door before taking one last look at the note upon the floor, the words _... It is coming, and you need to end this..._ visible from where she stood. Gathering her confidence, she opened her door, and walked away, muttering to herself that the note meant nothing. However, as soon as she walked out of her room, she bumped into something hard. Looking up in aggravation, she prepared to lash out at whoever had blocked her way. But her eyes softened when she realized what had stopped her.   
  
"Genrou? What are you doing here?" He looked into her eyes for a moment before taking in what she was wearing.   
  
"And you are out of bed this late because..." He gave Miaka another quick glance before looking into her guilty eyes once more. "And what exactly were to saying before you bumped into me?"   
  
_I can't! I can't tell him... It's better this way... He can't._   
  
"Genrou, I... I..." Miaka paused, and looked him in the eyes, noticing...   
  
_He looks so concerned. I can't lie to him. I can't._   
  
Turning on her heel, Miaka threw an apology out from behind her shoulder as she dashed away, not looking towards Genrou, trying to avoid what pain she felt, and whatever he may be experiencing.   
  
_I'm sorry, I truly am. But I can't tell you. I can't hurt you, and I won't._   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  



	5. Chapter Five

  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi. It is the property of Watase Yu. I am only a poor fan with a wild immagination.   
  
_I apologize on end for the lack of updates since March. I lost all creative insparation as end of the year stuff happened, and then I lost everything for all my stories (I can tell you the exact date and why this happened, if you have an hour to spare and ask). But, I will assure you that you will get an end soon. Summer is here, and my desire to finish this is budding. I will complete this story by the end of summer, I swear! I have one more chapter, then I'm done! I warn you now, that this chapter has the most violence I've written about. I don't do violence, but it was necessary in this case. And here I start!_

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Miaka stormed into the room, ready to start throwing accusations into the air. However, as she glanced around the room, she noticed one face too many.   
  
"You!" Shocked, and speechless, Miaka forgot everything she had wanted to say.   
  
"Miaka! Keep your voice down!" She heard Kishuku hiss. "We're not supposed to be doing this!"   
  
"And he isn't supposed to be here!" Miaka said as she pointed.   
  
"That's what you think," She heard him say under his breath. "But there isn't much time left, so sit down before we get caught. You know I'm not supposed to be here, and if someone sees me, guess who's dead?" The question was left hanging in the air as Miaka slid into a chair next to Kishuku.   
  
"So what are you doing in here?" Miaka watched as the two men gave each other a silent look, and they turned back to her. "Is everything OK?" The man's eyes lowered, and Miaka grew scared. "Is anyone hurt?" Another look was exchanged between the two men, and Kishuku nodded.   
  
"I hate to say this," started Kishuku, "But what we're doing isn't working as we thought it would." Miaka opened her mouth, prepared to beg for them to accept her help, but Kishuku pressed on. "Someone here is... interfering with our work, and it's not helping, especially since our job was difficult enough to begin with." Miaka shivered, fearing for her future, and the cold coming from the wide-open window. Kishuku looked around, and walked to the window, and shut it before speaking again. "We need to back away now."   
  
"We can't! We're not done yet!" Miaka jumped up and raised her voice. As Kishuku began to walk closer to her, the man next to her pulled her down, back into her seat. "Stop! Look, we've come so far, why stop now? Does the emperor know, since he was the one who asked us to-"   
  
"Miaka!" The two men said at the same time. Miaka stopped, and sat back in her chair, folding her arms.   
  
"Look," Miaka said, keeping her voice down, "Why? We were close!" The two men exchanged a look, and sighed. Miaka, oblivious to this, continued. "Why stop now? Is there something going on that I don't know about? I mean, I did get some note earlier that said something was going on, but nobody's been telling me lately what's happening." Miaka watched the two men exchange a dark look.   
  
"What note?" The look in the man's dark eyes scared Miaka, and she felt cold fear grasp her heart.   
  
"There... There was a note on the floor in my room. I left it there..." Both men sighed, Kishuku throwing his arms in the air while the other man reached towards her and smacked her on the head. "I got scared! The note said that the end was coming, and I needed to be careful! Now what's going on? What haven't you told me?"   
  
"I don't think the plan is going to work." Miaka gasped. "We've gotten too public, and now we have to pay."   
  
"But... how? The plan was genius!"   
  
"We were betrayed by someone... You don't know him, so don't start," Kishuku said, silencing Miaka. "He must've told someone what we were doing, and now the pieces of our destruction are falling into place, slowly." Kishuku paused for a moment, and the other man jumped in.   
  
"They're planning on taking in our families, hoping they'll tell something, or we'll come after them. Your brother is currently hiding everyone, but he needs help." Miaka's eyes widened. "The reason I'm here is to ask the emperor to shut down everything, at least on our part. I know other people have been successful in staying secret, but somehow we got caught. The emperor should understand, since he was the one to set up the whole thing. We need to keep our families safe."   
  
"This seems too harsh to be true."   
  
"Believe it; it's true," Miaka was told. She stared at her friend for a moment, her eyes full of questions.   
  
"What can I do?" She asked softly, knowing the answer.   
  
"You need to leave here. Drop out of the harem, escape the army. I know that you said you were content here earlier, but you need to leave, for your safety. The emperor will understand," the man said, trying to comfort Miaka, her eyes dark.   
  
"It's not the emperor I'm worried about..." she said in a soft voice.   
  
"Then go now, and pack. You need to get away as soon as you can. I promise to take care of everything for you tonight." Miaka nodded, and stood, preparing to go back to her room.   
  
"When will we leave?"   
  
"Tomorrow, Gods willing." Miaka nodded, tears clouding her eyesight. She walked towards the door, trying to take in everything, but turned before she opened the door. She flew into the man's arms, and let out her tears. The man held her close, trying hard to comfort Miaka, as she let out all of her emotions.   
  
"Please... Please be careful. I just couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. Don't do anything rash, please..." The man nodded, holding Miaka close. "Please be careful... Please."   
  
"I will, I promise." Miaka, feeling much more relieved, pulled away as the man placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "Be sure to be careful until tomorrow, ok?" Fearfully, Miaka agreed. Taking one last look at the two, she walked towards the door. Without taking a second look, she left the room and sighed, leaning against the closed door.   
  
Suddenly, only a moment after Miaka decided to walk away from the room, she heard shattering from inside Kishuku's room. Her eyes grew wide, and she felt cold fear in the pit of her stomach. Forgetting all nagging she heard of how a lady should act, she pulled her skirts up and ran into the room, shocked at what she saw.   
  
"Kishuku! Tets-" She was silenced immediately by one of the strange three men in the room. Her two friends were laid upon the ground, tied tightly to each other, their mouths covered, and eyes fearful.   
  
"Silence! We will hear nothing from you!" His voice was harsh, deep, and it stung. Miaka felt helpless. "Now, shut the door quietly, my dear." Miaka pulled the door shut, and held tightly onto the doorknob behind her back. "Now that's a good girl, isn't it?" The other two men agreed to the man's comment.   
  
Staring at the three men, Miaka concluded that the man who spoke to her must have been the leader, considering his actions and how he spoke. He was currently pacing around the room, searching through the papers he must have scattered when he entered. He turned back to Miaka, who had remained at the door, and motioned for her to come closer. She took two steps forward, fearful to step anymore. Narrowing his eyes, he moved towards her, then reached for her face, holding her jaw in his palm.   
  
"Such a beautiful girl... Why would one be wandering around the interior of the palace when the stars are so beautiful?" Casting her eyes on the ground, Miaka refused to answer the man, a dark hood covering his eyes. A quiet moment passed, and Miaka saw, from the corner of her eye, the man raise his arm. Taking in a swift breath, Miaka braced herself, closing her eyes, then felt pain stinging her cheek. She bit her bottom lip, not wanting to move. She didn't want him to think she was weak.   
  
"Quiet, aren't we?" Muttered the man under his breath. Turning her face towards him, Miaka looked at him straight in the eyes, then realized...   
  
"Do I... Do I know you?" She said it quietly, knowing that she couldn't have said anything louder. Her voice was wrapped in fear, caught in her throat.   
  
"It depends..." His voice was louder than his last words, and continued to rise in volume as he pressed on. "After all, I've only been among the soliders, rather than the ladies of the harem, like some people... Am I wrong in saying that?"   
  
_He knows!_   
  
"You bastard!" Miaka whipped her head around, and caught Kishuku flailing on the ground, trying to help her. One of the men in the room reached out to hit Kishuku, but Miaka felt her voice rise.   
  
"Don't!" All heads turned towards her. "Please... Don't hurt him if all you're going to do is continue to talk to me. Please..."   
  
"Then tell me, please, why you bothered to pose as a solider?" He spat his words out as if they were acid. He asked her again, only this time he used the name Miaka used when a solider.   
  
_It's no use hiding... I may as well tell, and hope that no harm comes to me._   
  
So then she told. The man held onto her the entire time, as if Miaka would try to run away. She spoke for minutes straight, not stopping for a breath between her long sentences. She cared about nothing at that moment, feeling exhausted. She left out the reason for why she acted as a solider, the details of why she was at the palace, and only the minor details that floats in the back of her mind, the ones she never told a soul. Everything else of her long journey escaped from her lips, and into the willing ears of the man who held onto her.   
  
"What an... Interesting journey you've had, miss. Something that, no doubt, the emperor would find interesting." _The emperor? Not... Please... Don't._ "I mean, your tale, despite the probability of being shortened by death, should amuse the emperor and his strict advisors. It's not often that you hear of a harem girl acting as a solider, a forbidden practice, with it's strict punishment!" _He's intimidating me... He's succeeding at it too._ Miaka closed her eyes for a moment, reminding herself that she needed to be strong.   
  
"If, sir, you are trying to scare me, it is not working," Miaka said in a crisp voice.   
  
"It's not working, then? Well then... Let's try this method of fear. Release the two men." Suddenly, Miaka watched as her two friends were untied, and they fell to the floor, grasping their reddened wrists. "Now, why don't we take her-" the man motioned towards Miaka, "-to some solidiers, and tell them what we've just heard." The three men began to pull Miaka from the room.   
  
In an effort to rescue Miaka, Kishuku quickly rose from the ground and attacked the man holding onto Miaka. He cried out in pain, and the men with him attacked Kishuku. Knowing that Kishuku could take care of the two, Miaka jammed her elbow in the man's side, watching as he doubled over in pain. As he stood up, Miaka braced her feet, preparing to be attacked.   
  
As the man pulled his arm back, Miaka watched as he was attacked from the middle. Backing away, she watched as the two men fell to the ground, feeling grateful to her friend for her rescue, who was standing up, pulling off the hood covering the man's head. Miaka watched as the man's face was unveiled, and gasped in shock.   
  
"It's can't be..." She heard Kishuku murmur. Miaka looked over at him, and he stared back for a moment before speaking again. Then, he opened his mouth wide. "RUN!"   
  
Miaka took Kishuku's advice and started to run away. Before she got to the door, one of the strange men grabbed her hand. Miaka shrieked in surprise, and was flung away from the door, and ended up losing her balance, falling onto the floor. The man moved closer, and Miaka raised her leg, throwing all her weight into her heel as she kicked it into the man's knee. As the man jumped in surprise, Miaka pulled herself to her feet, then raised her arm quickly, wanting to avoid the man's fist hitting her on the head. As she prepared to launch herself at the man in front of her, Miaka noticed the door was being opened, and paused in her actions. However, she hadn't noticed that the man was preparing to lash out at her, and Miaka received a hard hit to her face, right beneath her eye. Falling backwards with a cry, Miaka hit the ground hard.   
  
Feeling extremely dazed, Miaka remained still, half listening to everything around her. Closing her eyes from the pain of falling, Miaka gingerly touched her face, wincing from the stinging pain. When she heard a familiar, deep male voice say her name, she opened her eyes, and saw one of the soldiers she knew very well, his face fuzzy and almost unrecognizable. In the background, she heard the three men who had come into the room yelling out her name, telling the soldiers what Miaka had told them earlier. Only caring about the pain in her head, Miaka ignored them, and tried to sit up straight.   
  
"Miss, are you alright?" Asked the soldier. Miaka waved him away, knowing it would be easier for her to stand by herself, rather than anyone helping her. When she was on her feet, she wobbled for a moment, clutching her head gently.   
  
"It's her! She's the one that-" As the three men continued to yell, the soliders watching them had to hold them back tightly. "We're telling the truth! That girl there was posing as a solider!" They ranted and screamed, throwing their arms in the air, trying to get the full attention of everyone in the room, and gathering mass of people in the hall.   
  
"Miss, are you alright?" The man asked the same question to Miaka, and she looked at him through dazed eyes. _Would he stop asking me, please! My head hurts enough, and I just want to get out of here, and go back to my room._   
  
"I-I'm fine... My head hurts, though."   
  
"I wouldn't be surprised, considering the fall you took. I ran into the room when you fell, and the sound you made..." The man shook his head violently. "That must've hurt."   
  
"I... I've had worse." The words came out faster than she could stop them. _I shouldn't have said that..._   
  
"Excuse me, but can I take her outside? She needs fresh air." Miaka turned.   
  
"What's going on, Tets-" He silenced her with a wave of his hand, and she clung to him as he walked outside, not trusting her legs. When outside the room, Miaka felt the pain in her head ease away from the lack of noise. But the two kept on walking, and stopped near the gardens of the palace, near the invisible line where the girls of the harem weren't allowed past. Miaka held onto the railing, feeling slightly more normal, with the exception of her pounding head.   
  
"You need to get out of here fast. Now, tonight!"   
  
"What do you mean, tonight?"   
  
"Miaka, your very life is in danger now! You do realize that those men know everything?"   
  
"Will... will the soldiers believe them?" Fear wrapped around Miaka, and she shivered. Her thoughts of failure from earlier were haunting her, telling her that the letter told the truth.   
  
"I don't know. I think they were undercover, so they may not be believed. But, on the other hand, they were trusted by most of the men here, so..." He trailed off, leaving Miaka to ponder her future. Her secret had been revealed by thieves. All the guilt, pain, and anguish that she felt through her time at the palace had begun to build again, and could not be ignored. Reflecting upon this, she saw no other choice, but to laugh, it's cold sound harsh in the night air, announcing her defeat to the world.   
  
"There is nothing else I can at this point," Miaka said as she began to calm down. She looked up at her friend, and gave him a sweet, tired smile. "I'm so tired."   
  
"You look it," he told her as the two heard voices closing in on them. Miaka closed her eyes, and resigned herself to her future. Turning, she opened her eyes, not shocked to see two soldiers facing her.   
  
"We have received word that you were posing as a solider in the emperor's army. Is what we have heard true, or is it not?" Miaka nodded, answering the man, wanting to end everything, and was promptly slapped across the face. She fell into the railing, clutching her bruised cheek. She refused any help, pushing aside any offers handed to her. As she stood on her own, she faced the man.   
  
"You may check my room, as my armor and weapons are under my bed." Again, she was hit, but this time she refused to fall.   
  
"You will speak when spoken to!" Miaka nodded at the man, refusing to say another word, for she knew the consequences. She looked forward, not wanting to stare into the man's eyes, and watched as he commanded a man behind him to take her away. Without resistance, Miaka stood still, waiting to go away.   
  
"Any last words, before you go?" Asked the solider, his words gentle and quiet. Miaka looked at him with a gentle smile on her face, remembering him to be one of the kinder soldiers she knew. Miaka thought for a moment.   
  
"It all ended tonight. Everything I worked for fell to the ground," she reflected sadly. "What a way to end." A sad smile crossed her face, and she looked to the ground as he walked her away from the luxurious halls of the harem. Behind her, she could hear soldiers arguing, each one telling a different story on how her story would play out. As she walked away, their voices faded, but the story remained the same.   
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if you were to be killed tomorrow morning," spat out one soldier, who lagged behind Miaka. "You pulled a dangerous stunt, and deserve more than death." He mocked her recklessly, until she had been thrown into a jail cell on the other side of the palace from where she stayed. Miaka felt no shame staying inside the cold bars.   
  
_I deserve every bit of what is to come to me, no matter how harsh,_ she decided moments after they locked her cell. _I just hope that someone hears the truth, before something bad happens to Kishuku and the others. None of them deserve it. Not at all._

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End file.
